So there I was, minding my own business and doing my best to avoid chores. I was speaking to no one, I was making eye contact with no one (all married men know, making eye contact seems to give the family this impression that you'd love to do whatever thing they have in mind, usually involving chores or money), when the wife from across the room says, "We should finish the garage."

As I was assuming this was one of those, "It's going to be expensive so I can say 'Yes' and nothing will happen" types of conversations. I say, "You know what? That would be a good idea. I love you, your so smart and pretty." Yes, I'm a kiss ass, no I don't care for your judgement... Just know that there is a very very very good reason why I'm a sniveling worm... I like to have super dirty sex.

So then, she says, "Good, I have a quote."

BOOM! 4k gone! And, I had to empty the garage that weekend which took about 16 hours.


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Week before that, wife was stuffing the freezer with bacon cause it was on sale (I shit you not I had a drawer in my freezer that looked like a filing cabinette drawer, but instead of folders, it was bacon of every imaginable flavour and cut) and she busts the front of the drawer right off. She says "Sorry." followed by, "You know we, should just get a new fridge, the last piece we replaced was like 250 bucks, the drawer will probably be way more."

Being the sniveling worm that I am I say, "Capital idea my lover. Your so smart and pretty and young."

$2500 pppllllbbbhhhhtttttt!!!!!! Gone. It is a nice fridge though, super friggin shiny with water and ice in the door... That's when you know your fucking classy.


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This Saturday, around 10:30 PM, my son says. "Dad, it's hot in here."

Shit, I wasn't making eye contact that time either... "Aight boy, let me see what the thermostat is set to." (We have central air conditioning, cause we be fancy as fuck).

Sure as shit, current house temp was 26, A/C was on and set to a balmy 21 degrees C. Faaaack. So's I run around the house checking vents, turning the furnace breaker off and on again (I work in IT and that fixes 99% of computer issues). Then, I touch the coolant line running from the unit outside... Fack! Frost on the line, low on coolant, which means a leak somewhere...

*Poof* $1300 evaporated into the ether



So, how was your weekend? Everyone from the south coast OK?

Thanks for the laugh [mention]Twyn[/mention]. Just know I feel your pain. You are so right about the eye contact! That's what made me start laughing.

I have 3 non running cars around my house just so I can drum up some excuse as to why I need to move them around and not have to do anything on the honey-do-list. Of course I have to hook them up to the tractor and move them so she doesn't see what I'm up to.

Last I heard Hurricane Harvey has claimed 7 lives. I personally don't live near the coast. My wife does a great job of finding things for me to do. I don't need anything else helping her out. Cuts into my emulator time you know.

Hey I bought another house in July( want to be upscale slum lord ) and a newer car just a couple days ago. I can relate.

I hope Texas doesn't fall into the ocean.