Well i own the game, i have since 2007, however when i recently reinstalled the game, i cannot find eq2_default.ini, all that is in my folder is the EQ2 icon, the EQ2 Launcher, 1 xml file and 2 text files. thats it.
any suggestions?

So what happens when you run the patcher? heh. You should have quite a bit more files than those.

Definitely try re-installing the game. It should be in the root of your Everquest2 folder.